Chortle Weaponry

What kind of sense of humor does one need to survive the international field?

 One that stretches beyond all of the usual lines of humor and wit.

According to Wikipedia (take that graduate studies): “The hypothetical person lacking a sense of humor would likely find the behavior induced by humor to be inexplicable, strange, or even irrational.” Dear Wiki, never a truer word has been said.

Without generous amount of humor paired with the ability to laugh at oneself, the “inexplicable, strange, or even irrational” undercurrent of life in India would nearly drive you bonkers. Humor has come to be the only way I can function day in and out in India. It is my “fundamental weapon in the cognitive arsenal” to wield off the more surprising events and comments occurring daily at a surprising rate.

Just today, while sitting at my desk, one of my coworkers walked into the room and after taking one look at me said:

“You are looking very white today.”

As opposed to purple, green, or fuschia? I’ve never received such a greeting in my life, but something tells me it was meant as a compliment. My response to him was:

“Thank you?”

These kinds of comments are quite frequent, but they never cease to surprise me.

You have to learn to anticipate anything, and I do mean anything, when it comes to living in India.  A few weeks ago, I was shopping in a grocery store with one of my friends. I stopped to look at a rather pretty stuffed animal peacock with my 7 year old niece in mind. While debating the purchase, I felt a rather abrupt bump on my left arm from a woman in a sequined sari standing with two others. I’m used to being jostled to some extent and didn’t think much of it even though we were standing in an aisle entirely empty of people.

I then felt something rather awkward being hoisted into my arm that was like a gangly sack of potatoes. Looking over, I saw these gaping, kohl-lined eyes staring back at me a few inches from my face. Apparently, I had not been jostled by a woman just eager to look at stuffed animals but because she wanted to shove her small, diaper-less child in my arms so that she could take a picture of us. With lots of cackling and enthusiasm the woman and her friends gathered round me and the baby, snapping pictures with their camera phone. My friend was pushed off to the side where she stared wordlessly with her mouth hanging open.

I started cracking up and directed my smiles towards the woman with the phone though I usually make it a rule never to pose for people in pictures (the fact that I even have to say that is laughable!). But apparently my smile didn’t suffice because the women pulled and pushed my arms to readjust the baby on my shoulder and closer to my face. At that point, the line between horror and humor began to blur, and I could feel my face getting more flushed by the second. I smiled for one more shot and then handed the baby back to the mother so I could escape the increasingly awkward situation. My friend and I dodged into the next aisle where she assured me that she had never in her life seen something like that happened. We doubled over in laughter at the absolute strangeness of the event.

Though that’s one of a few times where more noticeably humorous things have occurred, I have more than enough reasons to chuckle ever day. Just in the past two weeks, I have been chased by a three-legged dog that ended up just eager for love. I have walked towards a little girl who suddenly squatted on the sidewalk to make a deposit before resuming her jaunt. I’ve had a crow skydive at my head to grab my hair. The list goes on…

All in all, I am having more than my fair share of amusement in every form and facet and am learning to always arm myself with humor no matter what happens. It’s a good thing that I love to laugh.